28 Ridiculous Comments That Doctors Made On Patients’ Charts

1 – “She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.”
2 – “On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.”
3 – “The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.”
4 – “Discharge status: Alive but without permission.”  
5 – “Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.”  
6 – “The patient refused an autopsy.”  
7 – “The patient has no past history of suicides.”  
8 – “Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.”  
9 – “Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.”  
10 – “Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.”  
11 – “Examination of genitalia reveals he is circus sized .”  
12 – “She is numb from her toes down.”  
13 – “While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.”  

14 – “The skin was moist and dry.”  
15 – “Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.”  
16 – “Patient was alert and unresponsive.”  
17 – “She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.”  
18 – “I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.”  
19 – “The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.”  
20 – “Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.”  
21 – “Skin: Somewhat pale but present.”  
22 – “Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.”  
23 – “By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.”  
24 – “The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.”  
25 – “When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.”  
26 – “Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.”  
27 – “The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.”  
28 – “The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.”    


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