(I work in a call center that offers referrals for mental health clinicians. This lady has been chewing my ear off about how she can’t find anyone in her area, despite there being around 50 clinicians within 20 miles of her.)
Caller: “I have to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. NO NURSE PRACTITIONERS!”
Me: “Okay.”
Caller: “I need to see someone who is an actual professional.”
Me: “Well, nurse practitioners are licensed professionals. They actually can prescribe medication, whereas a Ph.D. can’t.”
Caller: “Well, I don’t want to deal with someone who couldn’t make it in medical school.”
Me: “No psychologist in your area went to medical school, either.”
(This goes on for a few minutes until I find her a clinician that fits her picky standards.)
Me: “So the provider’s name is Tivoli. ‘T’ as in Tom, ‘I’ as in Idaho, ‘V’ as in Victor, ‘O’ as in—”
Caller: “Hold it, hold it! What the h*** do you mean ‘C’ as in Victor? Are you brain-dead or something? There’s no ‘C’ in Victor!”
Me: “Well, for one thing, there is. It’s the third letter. And for another, I said ‘V’ as in Victor.”
Caller: “Oh. I thought you said ‘C.’”
Me: “That’s why I gave you a phonetic word. To avoid that very confusion.”
Caller: “Still… *she had nothing to follow this*
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