‘Enough Chit-Chat, Santa’: Kids’ Hilarious Letters To Father Christmas

It is that time of year when excited boys and girls write to their favorite person: Santa!  Their letters tell Santa they have been good this year and what presents they would like as a reward.

Reddit users shared some of the funniest letters below:

kids letter to santa claus

One letter adopted a menacing tone, telling Santa: ‘You better bring my pony this year or there WILL be consequences’

kids letter to santa claus

This girl decided to defer her present, saying she wanted a little sister, ‘but not right now like in two years’

kids letter to santa claus

This neatly-written letter makes an unusual specification when it asks for ‘a dog that poops’, alongside ice cream and flip flops

One of the more unusual presents that children hoped to get: ghetto blaster, ‘tens and ones of money’ and ‘a dog that poops.’

One child wrote: ‘You better bring my pony this year or there WILL be consequences.’

Another had not forgotten previous Christmas disappointment: ‘I want a real puppy this year, not like the fake one you got me last year!’

This letter-writer started with brief pleasantries, before saying: ‘Well, enough chit-chat. Let’s get down to business.’

Followed up with a strange set of demands when he asked for a Lego set, some jelly beans, and an AK-47 assault rifle.

kids letter to santa claus

This young person’s wishes ranged from the innocuous to the arguably concerning, asking for Lego, sweets and an assault rifle

kids letter to santa claus

This writer begins politely before opening a lengthy set of requests for real and imaginary household pets

kids letter to santa claus

This letter demanded a response as the writer left space for Santa to explain his decision on whether to give the child a present

kids letter to santa claus

Another child outsourced the whole operation to his father, telling Santa to get in touch with his dad and find out the present situation

Another writer writes: ‘Dear Santa, I would like a chainsaw, a blue bike, a trampoline, a claw machine and a cash register.’

Santa: ‘Hope you crash on the way here and die on the way back.’

kids letter to santa claus

This correspondent also had something of an odd mixture of requests, asking for a PS4, a new guitar, world peace… and beer

kids letter to santa claus

There were mixed messages coming from this household as one child attempted bribery with cookies while another told Santa what they really thought

kids letter to santa claus

This child admits to having been naughty this year but tries their luck anyway and asks Santa for a remote control train

kids letter to santa claus

One forward-thinking child had saved themselves disappointment on Christmas Day by making sure Santa included batteries with the present

kids letter to santa claus

One writer tried to get in Santa’s good books by saying that ‘I really do believe in you’ before asking for a ghetto blaster

kids letter to santa claus

This child asked Santa for ‘something for my community’, calling on Father Christmas to arrange a new McDonalds store

Some even sent their best wishes to the reindeer and to Mrs. Claus.

However, one told Santa’s wife he needed to lose some weight.

Another child had spared themselves a later disappointment by asking Santa to bring batteries as well as the present.

The kids also used evidence to tell why they deserved presents.

One recipient said: ‘I am so good and I never say bad words, not to my parents, or the middle finger.’

Santa will have Leonardo DiCaprio on his sleigh if he fulfills one child’s dream to meet him.

kids letter to santa claus

Some children were at pains to reassure Father Christmas that they had been good this year – one informed him they never said bad words or used the middle finger

kids letter to santa claus

One child took it upon themselves to inform Santa that he needed to lose weight and should ‘stay away from the junk food’

kids letter to santa claus

Santa can easily sort out a remote control truck for this child but may have more trouble when he is asked to intervene between two squabbling brothers

kids letter to santa claus

Another writer did not hold back, telling Santa: ‘I have three words to tell you: I hate you. You Santa did not give me the toys I wanted for Christmas’

Santa might find himself stumped trying to one child a new McDonalds in their town.

One child’s wishes for world peace may be admirable but perhaps more than the reindeer owner could reasonably be expected to deliver by himself.

Santa will get more than he bargained for when he is asked to ‘make my brother nicer’.

Some of the letter-writers were keener to look out for the Claus family, asking Santa to make sure that he had enough rest in between his busy holiday work schedule.

kids letter to santa claus

This child was polite to Santa as they asked for a hoverboard and turkey costume, though admitting they’d ‘had their moments’

kids letter to santa claus

One child had not forgiven Santa for an earlier disappointment, telling him that ‘I want a real puppy this year. Not like the fake one you got me last year’

kids letter to santa claus

This writer tried to be less pushy, telling Santa to ‘take it easy on yourself’ and that he would be happy with money as a present

kids letter to santa claus

Santa will have Leonardo DiCaprio as a companion on his sleigh if he is going to make this child’s dreams a reality

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