He Refused To Apologize To His Step Dad For Protecting His Sister

Mom married him 5 years ago. Generally, it’s been fine, he never got involved in our affairs and always was neutral on whatever issue. He always left our mom to deal with us (Which is what you’re supposed to do I guess?). However, he’s become a little angry and tense these past 6 months or so. I don’t know why. But he’s never hit us before.

Two nights ago my sister was talking to my mom about going to a camping trip with her friend’s family, and my mom was saying “No.” My sister was insisting and was upset and frustrated that mom was not allowing it and told her that she’s unfair and she doesn’t want her to have fun. He was there too, he told my sister to be respectful to her mom, and this conversation is over. My sister was upset and told him that he’s so mean (well, he was a little moody earlier that day and made a comment about TV volume earlier as well). He suddenly just slapped my sister across the face. Strong enough to put her to the ground, not strong enough to leave bruises. I don’t think my mom saw this directly; she had her back towards them. She was putting something in the fridge or something. I was seeing this and jumped towards my sister. He was approaching her; I don’t know why but I was angry and shouted at him to stay away from her. I took my sister back to her room upstairs and stayed there with her until she fell asleep. We could hear him and mom arguing downstairs.

Yesterday morning he left very early for work (before we woke up.) Mom didn’t say much. We spent the evening in our rooms and didn’t come down at all. I was thinking he should come and apologize to my sister. Well, Mom came late at night and told us both that we need to apologize to him. My sister for calling him mean and me for shouting at him. I can’t believe it. I understand that I shouldn’t have shouted, but it was a reaction to him hitting my little sister! What did he expect me to do? Let him go toward my sister right after hitting her? Mom said that she expects us to apologize to him in the morning, but we didn’t come down for breakfast at all. Mom came up and asked what’s up, and I told her that I wouldn’t apologize until he apologizes to my sister, and she told her that she wants an apology from him. Mom told me that my sister is just rebelling because of me and this is bad for her. They’re at work now and will be back in the afternoon.

Should we just apologize and get it over with? I think he is in the wrong way more than we were.

I called my grandparents on Saturday afternoon and told them everything. I had taken a few pictures from my sister that night and emailed them those pictures as well. They were pissed off and angry at him and my mom for not standing up for us. They told me to stay upstairs and don’t apologize, and they will come over on Sunday morning. So we did that. My mom came to talk to us again on Saturday evening, insisted that we can go apologize, and we can all forget that it happened, but we kept refusing until she gave up. Later that night my mom came back up to talk to me again and wanted me to end this “rebellion” as she put it, saying that it won’t lead to anything good and it just makes things worse. I told her that I’m just protecting sister. She said, “It’s my job, not yours.” I said, “clearly you’re not doing it well enough, so I’m gonna have to do it.” She gave up again.

So grandparents came over on Sunday morning. Mom and step-father were home as well. We were upstairs and couldn’t hear what they were saying, but I could hear that my grandparents were very angry. I don’t know what happened but after a while, my mom came up, and step-father apologized to my sister and said it wouldn’t happen again and that he will make it up to us. My grandfather told me to let him know if something like this happened again.

After they left my mom looked very angry at me but didn’t say anything.

(P.S. I didn’t call the police in the end. I was afraid to make the situation worse and make a much larger mess. I thought involving grandparents is enough and they know better whether to call the police or not.)

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